Marrakesh Blue

Available at Gwen Carillon Designs and on Second Life Marketplace today!

Slip into the thinnest weave of cotton, batik...just enough to entice. Add a bit of  exotic shells around a slender throat. Stroll along the sand at the water's edge. The cool ocean breeze lifts silken tresses and sends chills across sun warmed skin.The woven fastenings ride lush, sun bronzed curves with each step.

Marrakesh Blue is a spicy and exotic state of mind. Go where it takes you. Succumb to the moment. ...I know what you did last summer....;)

I had so much fun making this kini!  I was listening to tribal music and practically dancing my way through the layers in Photoshop! I even made a surfboard for the shoot! *laughs*Marrakesh Blue Bikini includes ALL layers (including tattoo layers), and the Marrakesh Shell Choker. Soon to be released...Marrakesh Red!

Note: The hair pictured in poster is from "Sweet Hairs". 

**Soon to be released...Marrakesh Red!

Between Me and My Jeans

There are a gazillion pairs of jeans out there. Why would I design new jeans? Because I wanted everything that my imagination told me a pair of jeans could be: Individuality, flattering lines, sexy cut, edgy...and comfy.

So I took up the denim challenge. (And it was! *laughs*) Creating jeans is not for the faint hearted. You see, using templates is not for me. I create from scratch. Call it stubborn, photoshop pride. I would make jeans without anything but my photoshop application and my imagination. Even the writing on my jeans is in my own hand.

What I received for my efforts was the deep satisfaction of knowing I created what my imagination told me could be and a line of jeans any derrière can be proud of!

Many thanks to my friends who tried on countless versions!( Maia, Solange, Raven, Skills, Jewell)  In truth, there were 76 versions, before we could all agree to be happy with the results. Solange and Maia were merciless! Maia: "The shading isn't right on my butt"  Solange: "It's too blurry. Work on fabric. More detail" Skills: "These are still rough version, right? Looks good for a start...less contrast in shading" etc. *laughs*In fact my friend Minerva  suggested I call them "76 Jeans". I wanted to scream,I wanted to quit a dozen times, but I am so glad I didn't! I paired my new jeans with my new tank, my alchemy necklace, and a black crocheted vest with enamel buttons that I whipped up on a whim.

Introducing G Jeans. Lots of flavors....always edgy, sexy....you.

 

G Jeans Ultra Fade

Pictured in Ultra Fade Photo : W&Y Hair, AOHARU Jacket, Coco Engineer Boots, GCD Alchemy Necklace and Patterns Bangle, GCD Wings Tat with Cheek Cleavage.

Faith, Hope... or Idiocy?

Dreamers - Gwen Carillon

Being in love with another person  seems to be an act of faith that borders on arrogance.What right do we have to have faith that another person will return our love. What sense is there in hoping for something that may or may not happen, regardless of whether or not we deserve it and regardless of whether or not it makes sense. When is hope empty? When is it just a silly dream that deludes rather than strengthens? When is it destructive? I have no answers. I can barely verbalize the questions. Is love a singularity meant to keep its own counsel and its own rules? Are there rules in love and in the loving  of another person? If there are, why don't we know them? What if we don't hope? What if we shelve hope and faith as impractical and embrace what we see as reason instead? What then? Does that make us healthier for our stoicism? Does some nameless God of love pat us on our backs for showing good sense? Ultimately, we reward and punish ourselves. We stand, sit and dream on our own opinions of the traits ...the principles we think we should embody. We can love, as long as we don't assume others feel as we do. So...has love been a solo act all along? I'm not saying it is. I'm merely asking the question. I don't expect an answer...Sometimes the asking is enough.

...And no. Just in case anyone thinks this is specific to a person...it isn't. It's about me ...it's MY  blog! Words, like images and sculpture,  are art.  They don't need a reason.. They simply are.*Laughs*

Wings

Did I say I wasn't brave? Guess what? I've discovered something really important. It takes bravery to walk forward. It takes courage to live and accept mistakes. I screw up sometimes. We all do. But if we can accept that and move forward, I think that counts as bravery. Sometimes we move forward alone...and sometimes we get pulled along by friends. I won't waste time regretting the decisions I've made. That's done and gone. Placing energy on things that are unalterable is just plain stupid. I'm not going to spend my life trying to fix something that wants to stay broken. I'm grateful for the lesson (not really- *laughs*) and hopefully I've passed the pop quiz and won't have to retake this particular class. This Jersey Girl has wings and she's not afraid to use them!

Strength

Bless me Google TM, for I have sinned. It's been eight months since my last post.

Quite a bit can occur in eight months. Sit back. I'll pour the margaritas and we can chat. It's funny how we can be so brave one moment and so cowardly the next. Ummm... maybe "cowardly" is too strong of a word? How about chicken****? No? Ok... let's go with "not quite as brave". Ask me to stand up to a situation for a friend and I won't hesitate. Ask me to state my opinion on the changes that continue to play out on the Second Life grid...oh, I won't shut up! But...ask me to tell a person how I feel about them and fight for love? ...Uh ...Is it raining outside? I thought I heard something. I'm the kind that walks away. I'm "reasonable". I'm the kind that doesn't want to be around if I think I'm not welcome. I had a couple of braver moments this year, but they fizzled. *laughs* I'm telling you this, because I used to be braver. I have danced in the flames and survived. What has happened to me to change that? I don't know. Maybe there are degrees to this sort of risk. Maybe the cost seemed so high that I choked. I don't know. What I do know is that I walked away from something I wanted with all my heart, because of fear. I told myself that it was better to be reasonable and let it go. I told myself that I shouldn't try. That I had no chance of success. Ok...maybe I didn't, but damn it...I should have tried. Instead, I have spent the past eight months working and trying to pretend I'm fine. When a friend almost broke up with her partner because of a *trust-pride-rejection* issue, I couldn't let her make the same mistake I did. I asked her to fight for love. They are together and happy. I couldn't fix my own life, but I'm glad my mistakes helped them. As for me? I will try not to make this same mistake again. I'll look for other mistakes I haven't tried yet.

There is one thing I have learned from all of this. We all have wings. We just forget we have them. Be brave. True strength comes from faith in yourself. Nothing and no one can take that away from you.

Still Dancing

Photos used, courtesy of Carabella Babii

A while ago I posted a blog piece about my sculpture Fire Dance. Funny how you can forget your own words. I reread that post and reminded myself of some things I learned. Dancing in flames is always a risk. I know this and dance anyway. I dance for myself. I dance to dispel fear. I dance to embrace life. I dance in blind faith. Faith, that love is real and is the only thing worth the dance. When happily ever after is just dust in the crease of the book binding, faith makes me turn the page and keep dancing. Am I an idiot to think that the dance itself is worth the risk of crash and burn? Maybe...(laughs) but I'm an optimist. I always turn the page. Ultimately, I do this for me. I have let fear rule me in the past. I will never do so again. Am I still scared? Of course I am. Sometimes I'm so scared I freeze. Then I remember that I am more than my failures, more than my mistakes and more than my fears. I guess it comes down to this: Live or let fear swallow me in an endless loop of doubt and regret. So...I dance. I play my music, dance and celebrate being alive. If I crash and burn, I think of the phoenix and I remember I will get up and dance again and again and again.....

I close my eyes

And see yours

I can reach out

Touch your cheek

In a moment

We never shared

But always had.

Once Upon a Time

Once upon a time, I believed in "once upon a time". Now, I know better. Perhaps that's a good thing. I don't know. I will say that the hardest thing to give up on in life is the notion of*happily ever after*. We may get that part of the time, but there are no guarantees like that in life. At this point you may be saying "Damn, Gwen sounds bleak!" Just because I don't believe in guarantees, doesn't mean I give up. You see, I believe that we make our own luck. We bring good things into our lives by expecting, appreciating and nurturing them. Even if we don't get a fairytale life, we can still enjoy the good bits and be grateful for the superb moments of true magic. Happiness isn't an outside force that comes into your life. Happiness is a state of mind. We choose it. Happiness comes from within. Expecting others to make us happy will only cause disappointment, not to mention that it's unfair to place that kind of responsibility on another person. Instead, I am learning to live with an open hand. I have come to understand the ebb and flow of balance and change. Learning patience is a challenge, but I'm getting there...sort of. *laughs*

We all have needs and desires. We have categorized our lives into "I would be happy and life would be perfect if I could just ..." and "When this (fill in the event) happens, I will be happy." So...in essence, we are putting off happiness till the correct conditions are met, the stars align and we have a good hair day? Why? Each day is an opportunity for fulfillment. Each day we have the chance to live in the moment and appreciate ourselves, our friends, our families and our lives. We have a choice: Embrace that opportunity or waste it, waiting for an outside force to complete us.

"Well, I... I think that it... that it wasn't enough to just want to see Uncle Henry and Auntie Em... and it's that if I ever go looking for my heart's desire again, I won't look any further than my own backyard; because if it isn't there, I never really lost it to begin with."

-Dorothy Gale (Portrayed by Judy Garland), Wizard of Oz -1939- MGM