Accept your personal power. I am not
speaking of power over others, because that is an empty definition.
I am speaking of power over our own lives. How many times have we
blamed outside influences as reasons for why our lives are
unfulfilled or out of control? How many times have we given others
the blame for and the keys to our lives?
Personal power is the feeling of
control over your life and a pride in knowing that you can stand on
your own decisions. It is recognizing that you have a voice in your
life and can make valid contributions to your community. It is seeing
that you have much to learn without invalidating the work you have
put in thus far. After all, we are works in progress. It is
recognizing that others may have opinions about your life, but it is
you who choose to internalize those opinions or not. Ultimately we,
as adults, are the ones who choose our destinies since we are the
ones who must live with the consequences of our decisions. Power is
not the freedom from responsibility. It is responsibility. No
surprise that so many of us want to give it away!
Years ago, I gave away my personal
power by believing that others knew more about what my life should
be, than I did. I found myself apologizing for wanting to do certain
things or feeling the need to justify my dreams with practical
anchors. Okay, you might think that’s stupid. If you do then
you’re right. It was. I had no one to blame but myself. I remember
believing in myself as a child, but somewhere along that road I gave
my power away. It took years of growth, hard lessons and good
friends but I did take back my personal power. I will never give it
away again.
There are so many ways in which we give
that power away - through apathy or fear, in abusive
relationships, through conformity, in exchange
for approval and through not trusting ourselves as much as the person
or established entity we define as “better”, “smarter” or
“stronger”. We need to believe in our own worth. By comparing
ourselves to others, we never see the whole screen shot. That is
not to say that I shouldn’t ask for and take advice. It doesn’t
mean that I see myself as ‘knowing it all”, it just means that I
am the one who has the right to deem the advice valid as it pertains
to myself. I have to feel right with it, because I have to live with
it.
Personal power is not to be given away
as if it were worthless. Nor is it to be flaunted or used to push
others around. Those who paint an image of power, constantly
asserting their worth, usually use that image as armor against hurt.
(Think back to the class bully in grammar school.) Personal power is
meant to strengthen us, so that we can meet our own challenges, make
our own choices and set our own goals. When we feel strong within
ourselves we no longer need to maintain the illusion of armor. There
are those in this world with a sweet tooth for power. We run across
these people in all parts of our daily lives. (We see it in
government all the time!) They never see themselves as having enough
of it and they covet (covet: a word of biblical proportion!) the
power of others. The only way that they can gain power over your
sense of self worth is if you allow them to have it. No one has the
right to make you feel inferior, unless you give them the permission
to do so. My mother always said that. Though it’s hardly original,
that doesn't make it any less true. Follow your own path
honorably. Look upon your choices pro-actively. Weigh advice fairly
and along side your own instincts. Trust yourself and always be ready
to learn from your own mistakes as well the mistakes of others. We
are not perfect, so learning is always an option. And remember that
there are always others who look to you for inspiration and
strength…if you give it away, what are you saying to them?
